Friday, December 09, 2005

Drinks to be Drunk while Drinking to get Drunk

Originally posted by Scott.

Drunk. Hammered. Wasted. Blitzed. Ploughed. Trolleyed. Guttered. Maggotted.

Whatever the term, this is something I almost never do deliberately. It has been a very long time since I actually set out to get drunk. Normally it takes something catastrophic happening in my life before it sounds like a good idea.

Now don’t get me wrong. I get drunk.

A lot.

As I see it, there’s nothing wrong with getting drunk. Hell, it can make for fun evenings. I mean, I like booze. I like the way it tastes. I like the incredible variety of alcohol that exists. And since getting drunk is a by-product of having things I like, that works out well.

It’s just that I rarely start the evening with the goal of getting ploughed. In fact, one of the things that truly irritates me while I am out having a quiet drink with friends, is the bunch of arseholes in the corner who are power drinking because they think it is cool and clever. Bloody idiots.

I do not see, and have never seen, the attraction of getting so out-of-your-skull drunk that you end up hugging the porcelain throne all night. Then you get to spend the next day enjoying the twin joys of a crushing hangover and your mates filling you in on the many dumb activities you got up to the night before. (Actually, I’m pretty sure that at least a small part of alcohol induced blackouts is due to the body’s basic desire to NEVER EVER remember who it was you slept with the night before, rather than any effect the alcohol may have had on you.)

However, I had something of a misspent youth, so after about a decade of getting people drunk out of their minds, I have skills.

In fact, I have mad skills.

In order to go some way to fulfilling a promise made by James, I am going to start adding in a few recipes for drinks. Some may be familiar. Some you’ll go “What were you thinking?” and some (I’ll let you know which ones) should never be drunk. Ever. (In fact, if they ever sound like a good idea, you are way too drunk to be drinking them.)


Take a highball glass. Fill it with ice.
Pour in 2 oz Vodka.
Top to within ½ an inch from the top with RedBull.
Fill with Champagne.

Beware. This tastes like candy, and is very easy to drink. You will not realize how strong it is till you try to stand up. You’ve been warned.

Car Bombs

½ pint of Guinness in a pint mug.
1 Shot glass full of Jameson’s Irish whiskey. (Watch out – if you ask for this in the US, you have to specify this. Otherwise bartenders have a bad habit of giving you a shot glass with half Jameson’s and half Bailey’s in it – to be avoided)

Drop the entire shot glass into the Pint glass and drink the whole thing in one go.


Watch this space. More will follow.

Edit. I added RedBull to the Shambles receipe. Kinda looses something without it. -- James


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